


Heads or Tails

by Fanficqueen5093



Series: Heads or Tails [1]
Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F, F/M, HS AU, Multi, Newspaper HS AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-26 17:19:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15667758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanficqueen5093/pseuds/Fanficqueen5093
Summary: AU: Kat and Adena are respective Editor and Co-Editor of an award winning high school newspaper.Basically? The HS AU someone asked for.





	1. Heads or Tails

**Author's Note:**

> Mamihlapinatapai: "looking at each other hoping that either will offer to do something which both parties desire but are unwilling to do."

 

Kat flipped the light on as she entered the Daily Gazette’s bullpen. Being that it was Monday, it was her job to open the room and set up snacks for everyone prior to other students coming in. The only other person who had a set of keys was the co-editor – Adena – but they had scheduled intentional days off after several fights over which days worked best for them. Kat took Monday’s and Wednesday’s while Adena agreed to open up on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s, provided that she could be a few minutes late on Monday’s and Wednesday’s because she had a class that ran later than others. This system worked well for the most part but no matter how early – or late – they got to work, they always managed to stay later than everyone else.

You would think that amount of time alone would have caused them to be fast friends but Kat and Adena were notorious for their lack of over-and-yet-somehow lacking communication and differing ideas for the paper. It wasn’t that they ignored each other’s opinions or harbored a grudge against one another, it was just that Adena was very artistic while Kat was very…direct. Adena always came up with creative ways to frame an article’s aesthetic with photographs and coloring that would carry through to an entire issue, essentially connecting them. That was fine when you were talking about a print edition – which they emailed to everyone on Sundays – but it wasn’t good for the website design because it didn’t really matter what colors Kat used – even when Adena told her that it did - when submitting an article on the web. It also made each edition of the paper need a cohesive theme which meant that the journalists had to write matching pieces or pieces that could be related to each other for each edition; which was difficult when you considered how many journalists there were, and equal representation was hard to come by.

Kat was much more direct in her approach to the magazine. If Adena was bold colors, creative vision and perfect, glossy photographs, Kat was black and white, Times New Roman font, and a stout cup of coffee to keep her going. Adena’s motivation stemmed from a creative perspective while Kat’s was much more technical and centered; she liked to succeed, to work her ass off, and she liked being in charge. They ran on two different wavelengths – the die-hard-messy perfectionist and the comfortable artist – but their biggest challenge was how broad their vision was.

It was both a strength and a weakness to work with someone as passionate as you. If Kat was fire, then Adena was oxygen and their dreams of being heard and proving a point sparked both of them into a roaring blaze. Limiting that passion, reigning it in to fit into one edition and not several editions of the same type of material, was very difficult for the both of them. They both had so many ideas and issues with the world – things that they thought needed to be talked about – it was often hard to decide what to cut and what to keep when they considered the possibilities of the paper. They had a lot of journalists at their fingertips but no wanted to write the same material, read the same material or about the same topic over and over again no matter how passionate Kat and Adena were about the issues. And shrinking both of their visions down to agree with one another? Almost impossible.

Kat had absolutely nothing against Adena. Kat had been attending the New York Preparation School of Journalism since the 6th grade but Adena hadn’t entered into the foreign exchange program until their 8th grade year and they were now in their last year of high school; she’d known her for four and a half years. That being said, she admired Adena greatly. Adena El Amin was unapologetically herself. She was popular but was the type that only hung out with a select group of people – very close friends that she genuinely liked and had things in common with. She was an A-average student and participated in a lot of school functions and a few organizations. She was religious and prayed often. She was kind, courageous, proud, provocative, passionate, determined, head-strong, and incredibly gentle... She was also quite the rebel.

If there were any protests, fundraisers, or strikes going on around campus or in New York, Adena El Amin was always there with a camera in hand, documenting the event. She was a people person, thrived off of stories from strangers, and was always willing to share her own. Her life was one of experience even at the young age of seventeen – she had officially left home this year because of differences with her father over her romantic relationship with Coco, the art critic for the paper. Adena had been going to school in New York for years now but Kat knew that things back home hadn’t been good for a lot of those years. Kat knew that Adena’s mother was her primary support system and that she came to visit at least twice a year if she were approved for a visiting Visa. Kat knew that it was incredibly hard for her to visit because she was from Iran, she knew that Adena frequently stressed about her own Visa status and was often in the foreign exchange center getting counseling over what-ifs and any new changes in law. Kat knew that Adena was political, sexy, and a rule-breaker. She was the type of cool that everyone wished they could be, but no one could really pull off – effortless. It was the kind of cool that came from being truly, one hundred percent, completely yourself and not giving a fuck about what other people thought about that. It was the kind of cool, the kind of confidence, that wasn’t often come by.

Kat knew Adena was special. Truly special. And she also knew that she had a gigantic crush on her.

* * *

 

Kat really can’t pinpoint when it started. Probably as soon as they had met in Freshman year, when Adena had sat down at her table, directly in front of her and their eyes had met. Adena had smiled, had stared and Kat had blushed before she looked away and answered whatever question Sutton had. She had been sweet, complimenting, but Kat had felt something akin to panic when she considered the possibility of liking Adena. At the time, she’d only been with boys – one boy in particular, Trevor – and she had a boyfriend; it had just been easier to ignore the strange feelings in her stomach that Adena evoked. So, she had. She kept dating Trevor – lost her virginity with him – and she ignored the teasing and the knowing glances that her friends sent her when Adena was around.

And then Adena began dating Coco.

* * *

 

Kat can’t explain why Coco bothers her so much other than to say that she genuinely doesn’t like the girl. Coco is the type of person who wears a leather jacket, drives a motorcycle, smokes cigarettes out back during lunch period even though its clearly marked on the signs that it’s a tobacco free campus. She has a lot of opinions that she’s not afraid to voice, wears sunglasses inside because she frequently smokes weed during breaks and is just generally a complete asshole. She’s cynical and she can be mean, petty. Kat and Coco have gotten into it several times about her careless attitude when it comes to the paper and when they’ve had group projects in class together. It’s become common knowledge that a teacher should never assign them to work together in class because of complications in the past. They buttheads over differing opinions but neither of them back down and can never come to a reasonable solution other than compromise and even then, its met with angry retorts and dirty looks.

Kat doesn’t understand how a girl like that gets lucky enough to be with someone like Adena El Amin. She doesn’t understand what Adena sees in Coco, other than the fact that – begrudgingly – she’s hot, a rebel, and has an air of ‘I don’t care’ that matches Adena. Coco is also a very talented artist and photographer – something they bond over. Kat tells herself that there must be something in Coco that Adena sees that Kat cannot, but it doesn’t make her feel better – she still thinks Adena could do better.

* * *

 

Kat breaks up with Trevor in their sophomore year and Adena begins to get serious with Coco around the same time. Trevor and she have an agreement that they can still call each other for the occasional hookup but that they just don’t work well in a relationship. They both prefer casual sex and conversation to anything serious – though Kat thinks she might have a different reason than Trevor. However, that arrangement breaks with the arrival of Daniella.

Daniella is a whirlwind of sex and temptation. She’s the first girl that Kat sleeps with, experiments with, and it’s the longest relationship Kat’s had; it’s fun and intense. It’s not something she does – dating – but she can’t deny the sex appeal of Daniella and they get along very well. There’s a spark there that she’s never felt before, not even with Trevor, and she immediately falls into the girls spiral of seduction. It’s intense and sexual, one big experiment for both of them, and it lasts almost an entire year until Daniella graduates and goes off to Columbia. Kat is far more upset than she thought she would be, but they keep in regular contact – Daniella telling her all about the New York lesbian scene, her college experience, and Kat keeping her up to date with the going on of her own life and the paper.

Daniella is the first person that Kat feels as if she can talk to in a way that’s more than just friends. Trevor is a physical being and good for a laugh, but Daniella talks about poetry and serious issues that Kat cares about. When they weren’t having sex, they often engaged in serious conversation about whatever came to mind. Kat’s told Daniella things that she hasn’t even told Sutton and Jane, the both of them keeping mutual secrets. It is the closest thing to an actual relationship that Kat’s ever had, and it takes her mind off of her still very present crush on Adena.

Now, in their senior year of high school and nearing graduation, Kat knows that Aden and Coco are still very much together, knows that Adena went away for the summer to go back home for a few weeks before school started. It’s been a month since the commencement of their senior year and they are both hard at work with the paper, finally settling into a rhythm and enjoying the calmer atmosphere in the bullpen. They’re supposed to hold a pitch meeting today with the entire writing staff to bounce around ideas, but Kat thinks that Adena has something specific in mind; her Instagram feed and her website – a website that Kat made for her two years ago – has taken on a very focused initiative to shed light on immigration and Islamophobia. Kat has been stalking her social media for months now because the photos are so good and the stories that go with them are heart wrenching and important.

Some things never change no matter how many years go by. Her attraction to Adena is one of those things and she’s accepted that it likely won’t until they graduate, and she likely never sees Adena again. Kat tries not to think about how much that upsets her, how much she’s going to miss fighting with and for Adena El Amin, how it almost feels like devastation when she thinks about not seeing her daily. She tries to tell herself that she’s not in love, that she’s just attracted to the idea of being with Adena and that its normal because Adena is beautiful. But still, Sutton and Jane tease the shit out of her regarding her infatuation with the photographer – some things definitely don’t change.

* * *

 

Laying out the donuts and the freshly brewed coffee she’s prepared in the lounge, Kat smiles at the arrival of her two best friends. Jane is complaining about Pinstripe guy – Ryan, who they call Pinstripe because he’s always going on about the Men’s magazine that he hopes to work for one day – and Sutton is teasing her about her obvious crush on him when Adena walks in. There’s an immediate furrow in Kat’s brow at the appearance of her – Adena has been **_crying_**. Kat’s able to block her best friends out as she watches the girl put her things down at her designated desk, which is beautifully decorated, and only glances away when Adena looks up and her eyes fall on the room.

There’s one person missing when Kat calls attention to the room and Adena joins her up front at her side, standing tall despite her low disposition. Kat wants to ask what’s wrong but now isn’t the time and they have a meeting to get to. “Morning everyone,” Kat greets cheerfully, though it’s a bit false because she’s concerned about her co-editor, and there’s an immediate grumbling from the writers, “we all know why we’re here, but I think that Adena has something that she wants to pitch before we begin.” It’s obvious that Adena is surprised, eyebrows shooting upwards as her eyes meet Kat’s. There’s a silent conversation between them, lasting only a few seconds, before Adena smiles at her, small and soft – genuine, and she takes over.

“I’ve been in the middle east over summer and I’ve began a new photo series about Muslim’s and what it means to be a woman in Iran. While I was back home, I thought about how much Muslim’s are misunderstood and how there’s misplaced fear here in America, especially in New York. I’d like to open the channels of conversation with the newspapers help,” Adena glances to Kat, who encourages her with a smile, trying to ignore the way Adena’s eyes are still red. She goes on to explain that it’s important to address these issues, especially within the younger population so that it might make things easier in the future for everyone. It’s a controversial topic and Kat’s ready to dive in because it’s been awhile since they’ve handled anything this big.

“Sutton, maybe you could look up what it means to wear the hijab? Maybe talk about middle eastern designers and how clothing can be a representation of faith. Whatever you come up with I’m sure will be great.” Kat encouraged, taking notes on her iPad and listening to the buzz in the room. “Jane and Alex, maybe you could talk to Muslim students or reach out to those from middle eastern countries and get their opinion on the current political climate? Then you could both decide to focus on a large issue within what was discussed in the interview.” It goes on like that for some time, everyone throwing ideas around, contributing to the conversation, until nearly an hour and thirty minutes goes by.

They’re interrupted by the sound of the door opening and Kat glances up. It’s immediate, the way her body tenses. Coco comes strolling nonchalantly in through the door and suddenly Kat sees red because she makes out Adena from the corner of her eye, averting her gaze and looking down at the floor. It is an action that is so unlike the Adena that Kat knows, believes the woman to be, and she can feel the anger build in her chest.

“You’re late,” it is a bark more than anything, hard and intimidating. The room goes silent and Coco glances up with a raised eyebrow and a completely uncaring look on her face. It makes Kat’s blood boil because Coco seems so uncaring about everything and only really ever focuses on art and getting high. Kat can smell the weed from here and it normally doesn’t bother her – she knows what kind of person Coco is and that she gets high periodically throughout the school day – but today it does bother her. Today, she’s pissed.

“So?” It’s the wrong thing to say. Kat stands and sits her iPad onto the chair she just vacated, ignoring the numerous eyes on her as she stands off with the girl. Kat’s flushed and she calmly exhales, trying to not give Coco a piece of her mind. She knows that maybe she’s being a bit unfair, that her behavior is unusual, but she can’t bring herself to care. It’s obvious that Coco did something to make Adena upset and that’s enough for Kat – Kat was only ever nice to her because of Adena.

“So, where were you? You’ve missed this entire pitch meeting and its bullshit!” There’s silence in the room and even Coco’s eyes widen. Kat doesn’t swear often, believes that it makes her look unprofessional, and when she loses her temper it is not pretty. The last time she got upset, there had been a rearrangement of the entire sports writing team. Several of them were let go due to their blatant lack of respect for the female writing staff and Kat had no problem turning them in for harassment; it wasn’t a secret that Kat wasn’t afraid to exercise her power as Editor.

“I had a doctor’s appointment,” It’s obviously a lie. Coco is infuriating, she doesn’t back down even when Kat has her cornered. Kat can’t deny that she likes the power that comes with being Editor, but she doesn’t misuse it. She doesn’t want to be the asshole that lets power go to her head – that’s not who she is. But she knows that Coco and some of her friends talk behind her back, that several people do that without success because it always gets back to Kat some way or another. She knows what’s said about her and she can’t deny that it’s made her question her behavior as Editor. Those insecurities only make her dislike the girl all the more and she’s tempted to let the girl have it right now but there’s a movement behind her back and a gentle hand falling on her arm.

“Kat,” it’s warm but reprimanding, firm, and Kat feels a blush take over her cheeks, chastised. Adena is surprisingly gentle, kind, despite the fire in her eyes and the passion in her voice. Kat can be impulsive but Adena is methodical, strategic and she never lets her feelings overtake her – unlike Kat whose yelling at a fellow student in the middle of a classroom. The photographer brings her back down to earth, reminds her that she just can’t reprimand someone in front of others even if they deserve it. Most of Kat’s anger comes from the fact that Coco has obviously hurt Aden and she’s protective, even when she has no right to be. It’s shameful but there’s also a part of her who genuinely hates how unaffected Coco is by absolutely everything; how she seems to not care about her place in the newspaper which makes her decision easier.

“Mitzy,” Kat breaks the sudden silence, head tilting just to the left to speak to the girl who’s now looking up with trepidation as Kat stares at Coco who’s not dropped eye contact since Kat called her out. “You’ll take over the art column this month.” It is so surprising that Kat sees several eyes comically widening. Coco has been the head art columnist for two years now and it was made official this year that she would be the primary critic – Kat thinks this has a lot to do with Coco’s sudden absence and late attendance, believes that the girl might consider herself above the attendance rules now that she’s got her name out there. It doesn’t, and Kat has the primary authority underneath the supervisor of the journalism program and digital/print media. It is within her power to advocate for the betterment of the newspaper and she has authority to put different people in charge just as long as its approved by the supervisor at the end of the day when the decision has been made. It is notoriously known that Coco and the supervisor do not get along and that Coco has had several disciplinary problems since transferring. Kat knows that her decision will be met with open arms.

This is the first time that Kat’s seen a caring reaction from Coco. The girl is obviously surprised and her whole body just kind of sinks into her leather jacket, stunned. Kat can tell that she’s holding back an angry rant, watching the way her eyes widen, her jaw clenches, her face flushes and how she steps just a little closer to Kat, but the girl thinks better of it and leaves the room in a huff. Kat watches her go with a feeling of satisfaction before she’s turning around and facing everyone in the room. It’s deadly quiet until Kat claps her hands, breaking the spell and making several people jump. “Alright! Let’s get to work, people! We have so much to do and so little time to actually do it. We’ll meet back here on tomorrow before classes and we’ll touch base once more.”

* * *

 

The day carries on after that and it’s calm. Sutton and Jane call her out on her decision, ask her hard questions about why she really decided that Coco wasn’t worth the trouble, but Kat dodges. They already know. She doesn’t see Adena much throughout the day. After editorial meetings – which usually run the free hour and half that writing staff have free – they both have other classes to attend. Kat knows that Adena fills her schedule with art classes and she wonders, worries, if she’s had to face off against Coco. It almost makes her regret firing the girl, knows that it’s possible that Coco made things harder for Adena, pressuring her to get Kat to change her mind. She tries to forget that in an attempt to not make herself angry again but it’s only a semi-successful mission.

At the end of the day, Kat returns to the bullpen to do some work and throw any leftover trash away from the students who visited the room during the day. The room is open for writers and photographers alike; everyone free to come and go as they please. It’s quiet when Kat enters, and she only sees two students who are packing their bags to leave. It’s late, four-thirty, and almost everyone is gone; the halls all but clear of stragglers. Kat has to be out of the building no later than eight, but she tries to never stay that late. There’s been two nights in the history of working at the newspaper that she’s ever stayed that late and both of those were due to internet outages.

She takes a seat at her desk and begins to type away, editing code and posting new articles on the digital site. She truly enjoys what she does, what her responsibilities are, and she couldn’t ask for a better position. It’s shaped her in ways that she couldn’t imagine, given her so many responsibilities that she’s far more mature now than if she hadn’t been voted into the position. Social media in all its platforms is something that Kat greatly enjoys and plans to use to her advantage. The digital age is upon them and she plans to take lucrative advantage of all the opportunities in the field. She’s decided on Marketing as her major with a strong focus in digital platforms. She’ll be applying to Cornell closer to the end of the year and already has her application folder ready – its sitting on her personal computer just waiting to be dug into and used.

She’s not afraid like so many of her other peers because she knows that this is something she’s good at, something she’ll enjoy. It helps that Kat’s already doing some of what she’ll be going to school for – she was lucky that way. Jane is staying in New York rather than attending school back home in Colorado and Kat knows that she’s got her eye on Brown. Sutton is having a harder time of things. She’s not got the money that Kat has or the confidence to go for what she really wants to do – Fashion – and she’s been talking a lot about business and less about Fashion as a means for her future. Kat agrees that its risky, but she’s seen what Sutton can do and keeps encouraging her.

In fact, Kat thinks about putting Sutton’s designs on the website a lot. She’s looking over the fashion column’s primary page and contemplating the layout and what they could do to get Sutton’s work out there when there’s a scratch on the carpet directly behind her, someone sliding a rolling chair up behind her to look over her shoulder. She doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is.

* * *

 

Kat doesn’t know what perfume Adena uses but it’s _amazing_. Girls always smell so _good_ and Kat has spent thousands just for perfume alone in recent years, but she’s still not found whatever it is that Adena uses, it can’t possibly just be _one_ thing. Kat thinks that its likely a blend of whatever perfume she wears, her hair products, and the soap she washes with because its complex and drives Kat insane. And, God, Adena always looks so _fucking_ good. Kat spent fifteen solid minutes at her locker earlier this morning, risking being late to class, just _watching_ Adena. When Sutton and Jane asked her what she was doing, that teasing accusation in their voices, Kat told them that she was ‘supervising’ as Adena took pictures of the new lineup of the volleyball team. But really, Kat had been thirsting over Adena all day today – just looking for a glimpse of her anywhere. Because Adena was beautiful but today… Kat’s poor queer heart couldn’t take it.

She wore a maroon hijab which was problematic in its own right. Kat had always associated red with anger – that’s what the ‘angry’ emojis were, right? – but that changed with the arrival of Adena El Amin. Any shade of red looked amazing on Adena and the photographer seemed to know that by how much she wore; now red was firmly attached to Adena. Today she was dressed head to toe in black with a maroon satin top and hijab for that pop of color. **_Illegal_**. Kat had been distracted all day and couldn’t help but think of how awful Coco was for not appreciating all of _that_ on a daily basis because… damn. Aesthetically, Adena was pleasing but what sealed the deal, what made her the sexiest person Kat had ever seen, was that confidence. _That_ walk. She could feel her heart race just remembering this morning and now Adena was behind her, looking over her shoulder and bracing herself on one hand. Kat couldn’t help her eyes, which dropped down to take in the woman’s immaculate nail polish – black – and blush because… Adena had long fingers and Kat wished she knew first hand just how talented those fingers were.

Thirsty. Kat was so thirsty for Adena El Amin. And sitting here in the semi-darkness, lit only by a single desk lamp and several monitors, Adena leaning over her shoulder, chin almost resting there, with Hayley Kiyoko (lesbian Jesus) playing softly in the background, Kat felt very Sapphic and happy.

Adena’s breath smelled like fruit, Kat noticed off handedly and immediately turned to Adena with suspicion.

Glancing down at the woman’s hand, she caught sight of a familiar bag and gasped happily. “Is that what I think it is?” Fruit leather. Adena followed her gaze and Kat noticed the rolling of her eyes and the fond grin take over her face. They were very close now, faces only inches apart and Kat couldn’t help but notice – not for the first time – how long Adena’s eyelashes were. She knew that those came from Adena’s Persian roots and was only slightly jealous but that was due to their close proximity than anything else. Any other day and she’d be cursing her own length and the fact that she wore fake lashes while Adena just tended to her natural ones.

It was so strange being attracted to other girls – how you could appreciate a girl, be attracted to her, but also jealous and envious if they had something on their bodies that you wanted on your own. The editor often wondered if it was the same with men in same-sex relationships but hadn’t thought to ask any of her queer male friends.

“ _Lavashak_ ,” Adena muttered in Persian, the formal name of their favorite shared snack, a name Kat _adored_. A small squeal broke the silence as Kat twisted in her seat and looked at Adena expectantly, excitement clear in her eyes.

“You have to give me some,” Batting her lashes at the girl, she watched as Adena puffed her cheeks in faux-annoyance before she sighed, grinning softly, and digging into the bag to produce one of the bigger pieces of fruit leather in the bag. Holding up to Kat’s mouth, it was only within just offered when Kat shot out and grabbed it in her mouth, Adena bringing her hand back quickly in an effort to not be nipped by Kat’s teeth. The girl was in heaven, a soft moan of contentment escaping her as her taste buds exploded from the flavorful treat. “Adena, your mom is a magician.” There was a soft snort behind her and the sound of a bag being crinkled as Kat chewed slowly, savoring it in thought. “What’s the Persian word for magician anyway?”

Humming, throwing her eyes to the ceiling in thought, Adena contemplated. “I suppose the proper word would be,” and Adena says something that Kat can’t understand but would love to listen to everyday, “would be the correct way to say it.” She tries to copy the way the word sounds coming from Adena’s mouth but its clumsy and only causes Adena to laugh. Kat has to smile because she’s smiling, which is way better than crying or frowning which Kat saw a lot of this morning.

They stare at each other for a moment, soft smiles evolving into an intense regard of the other. They regard each other in a way that holds meaning, that speaks to the intensity and the electricity in the air. Sutton and Jane call it ‘ ** _Mamihlapinatapai_** ’ – or at least try to call it that which only ever leads into giggles at the butchered translation. Jane looked up the hardest word in the world to pronounce, it started off as a joke, the three of them messing around and Jane going over vocabulary for a class or another that led to a curiosity, and then the inside joke was born. It was in an effort to make fun of them, but Kat can’t say that its untrue; at least for her. It is intense and sometimes Adena steals her breath just by looking at her, makes her heart squeeze and beat tenfold in her chest when Kat catches her eyes, unaware of being stared at but finding Adena anyway. Kat’s weaker in a lot of ways, she thinks, and she’s always the first to break that stare and look elsewhere.

Tonight’s no different and she turns her attention back to her monitor where she’s in the process of creating a different header and logo for their website in photoshop. She’s testing colors, fonts, and textures to see what works best when Adena speaks up behind her. “I think the font you had earlier was better, would look better with the theme you have for the website.” Kat highlights the text immediately and clicks up to the font bar to change it back and contemplates it, going back and forth from the font Adena likes and the one she prefers, which is versatile and a bit easier to read. Kat’s humming in disbelief, not able to decide and she hears Adena sigh long and loud, can practically hear her eye roll too, as she digs into her pocket and takes out a coin.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Kat states, hands up in supplication as she voices her opinion, “I just worry that it might be a bit harder to read, that’s all. I know that you have a _thing_ about the fonts that I’ve chosen,” Adena mutters under her breath ‘I definitely have a _thing_ about the fonts’ but Kat continues and ignores her. “But I pick them because they’re easier on the eyes. And sorry if you think that the current theme is boring, the font included, but I’d rather have it be boring than harder to read.”

Adena holds the quarter in her hand, heads up and tails down, and balances it perfectly on her thumb. It’s how they settle most of their disagreements after they had frustrated each other so much last year that they stopped talking for a week. “Heads?” Kat’s always heads so she nods and Adena settles with Tails because that’s just the kind of people they are. Kat’s all head, Adena’s all heart. There’s a soft ‘ting’ of metal as it meets Adena’s fingernail before the coins up in the air, spinning, before dropping down and into the woman’s palm where she slaps it gently against the back of her other hand. Kat glances down and lets out a ‘woop!’ when she sees that its landed in her favor. Laughing, she changes the font back and saves her work before spinning in her desk chair to face Adena fully.

“Today is not my day,” and it isn’t. Adena looks beautiful but she also looks exhausted and it’s an immediate cause for concern. There are dark circles under her eyes, made more apparent by the light from the monitor, and her eyes blink slowly, sleepily, as if she can barely keep them open. Kat glances down at her Fitbit and notes the time – 7:45 – and knows that Adena still has a walk across campus in the dark. It’s gotten to that point of fall where night comes sooner, and Kat knows New York, did a lot of research before deciding to move here alone, away from her parents in Connecticut; it can be dangerous. “You were harsh with Coco today,” it’s a determent from her worrying thoughts and her eyebrow immediately rises in defense at her own actions.

“She deserved it,” it’s not very nice, the way that she says it, and Adena stares, inquisitive and curious at the outburst. Kat has to look away and that seems to break the photographer from her thoughts.

“Kat, you’re never cruel.” It’s not accusing, rather soft and gentle, nudging Kat to talk. “Today you were. I know that you’ve never cared much for Coco, but you’ve never confronted someone in the middle of meetings before about being late. You didn’t even call out the athletes who caused so much trouble last year and that was worse than this.” And Kat knows that she’s right, but she can’t stop the ire that rises within her at Adena’s defense of Coco who clearly deserved to be brought down peg or two.

“Are you challenging my decision?” Adena can do that. Adena could challenge every decision that Kat makes and is never afraid to do so. Kat respects and appreciates when she does because she can be impulsive and angry; it’s good to have someone who is level headed and gentle who sees things that she doesn’t. But that isn’t what this is – Kat’s been gunning for Coco for a while now and she’s only ever held her tongue this long out of respect for Adena.

“No.” One word and a guilty glance down at the floor and Kat knows that its serious. Adena is kind, forgiving, and she offers chances that Kat doesn’t. She’s loyal and she’s stuck up for Coco plenty of times in the past, which is one of the reasons why Coco was still head of the art column, and to see her not doing that now means that whatever happened between them was serious. She must have hurt Adena a lot to have the girl not even vouching for her anymore.

It’s an awkward silence, the fight leaving Kat as her own eyes drop down to the floor. She wants to ask what happened, but she doesn’t think that it’s her place to do that. They aren’t close enough for those kinds of conversations and Kat feels as though, if she asks, it would be seen as nosy. So, she keeps her mouth shut and offers a rather awkward turn of conversation.

“I’m having a get together Friday night,” it’s hesitantly brought up, Kat speaking slowly before picking up momentum as the silence breaks and the intensity dissipates. “We’re all probably just going to watch a bunch of stupid movies, order pizza, play a few games and goof around but you’re welcome to come if you want. It’s usually just Alex, Jane and Sutton. Sometimes Pinstripe comes by, but Jane pretends to find him annoying.” Friday’s used to be date nights for the couple, Kat knows, because Coco works on the weekends and Adena is always busy with different photography projects. Adena’s spoken enough about her plans in the past to know that Friday might carry a level of sadness now that it’s not filled with dates.

Adena is smiling, gentle and thankful. She’s always so warm with that gaze of hers when she looks at Kat. It lights Kat on fire and makes her fingers tingle, her body jittery and nervous. She seems genuinely happy to be invited and the gratitude shines through in her laugh as she nods enthusiastically. “I’d love to, Kat. Thank you for inviting me.” Adena’s voice is light, happy, once more and her eyes shine with something that Kat can’t put a name on. “I feel better now than I did earlier.” That makes Kat feel warm because Adena’s subtly implying that she made Adena feel better and that’s just…

“I’m glad.” She is glad. And when she gets home later that night after driving Adena across campus, her phone lights up with a text. She’s holding her phone close to her chest, grinning while she reads before she sends one back and turns out the light for bed.

* * *

 

 

> _Thank you, Kat. For the chance to collaborate with you on this project. There’s no one else that I’d rather work with._
> 
> _Not just for that but also for the ride and the laughs. I really needed them. – Adena._
> 
> _Anytime. – Kat._


	2. Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday night movies and confessions.

Chapter Two: Friday

 

                  Friday rolls around sooner than expected. The week progresses in a natural way with Kat missing Adena at every turn. They have a drastically different schedule this year and hardly ever see each other in the halls. The only time they have free at the same time is lunch and Kat usually goes off-campus for that while Adena hangs out with her art friends and some other foreign exchange students. Kat’s not seen Adena and Coco speak to each other the few times they’ve all been in the writing room together. They keep their distance, but Kat’s noticed the looks that Adena throws her way sometimes – wounded and the slightest hint of anger in her eyes. It makes her glad that she invited Adena to hang out with them tonight.

                  Kat’s got pizza ordered, movies laid out on her living room table, various seating arrangements consisting of bean bag chairs and her couch, and she’s taken the liberty of buying some boxes of candy that sits in a basket near the DVDs. She’s got some board games stashed to the side of the living room just in case they want to play something later and she’s sitting out drinks when she hears a series of knocks at the door. Wiping her hands on her jeans, suddenly nervous at the thought of Adena being in her apartment, Kat makes her way to the door and takes a second to compose herself before she opens it.

                  Adena stands in the hallways of Kat’s apartment building, bathed in light from the hall light directly above her. She’s wearing a leather jacket with plenty of silver accents – zippers and buttons – that catch the eye. She’s got on a black t-shirt that’s slightly lower at the cleavage than what she normally wears, her hairs down and carefully covered with the same silk red hijab she had on earlier in the week. Her jeans sit low on her hips, fitted to her calves and squeezing her thighs. Bright red lipstick catches Kat’s eyes and she glances down at Adena’s mouth, the careful way her cupids bow lips are smiling at her. The photographer is holding a black purse at her side, big enough to hold her camera, and her nails are painted the exact same red as her lips. All in all, she looks dangerous, daring, bold, and beautiful standing here Kat’s hallway waiting to be invited into said girls’ home.

                  “Hi Kat.” Adena greets warmly, words slow and punctuated by her beautiful accent. Kat loves the way Adena says her name – pronouncing the “T” at the end, carving it out and making it a bold statement. Adena talks as if she has all the time in the world, slow and accented, never in a rush. It’s such an _Adena_ thing to that it never fails to charm Kat – the way she speaks. Adena carries this ease within herself that Kat thinks is false at times but true in others. She knows that Adena must struggle with her identity, with accepting herself when so much of who she is conflicts with what the world tells her she has to be. It only makes Kat admire her more when she sees and focuses on that strength.

                  “H-hey Adena!” Kat stumbles, struck on how beautiful Adena looks and there’s an awkward silence where they just stand in the doorway together, looking at each other, before Kat hastily backs away and allows the girl entry into her apartment.

                  Kat lives in a very nice apartment building in Manhattan – about forty-five minutes away from their school. It was a gift from her parents when she turned sixteen – an agreement that they had with the landlord who kept an eye on Kat while they were still in Connecticut. The editor takes good care of it and its hardly ever messy because of how organized she is, but Jane is always welcome to come over and stress clean when she needs it; Kat has no qualms.

                  A lot of people have no idea that Kat collects pop art prints, or that she is obsessed with Jean-Michel Basquiat, Kay Brown, and Betye Saar – their art covering her walls and catching the eye in every room you enter. They’re colorful but they’re also important artists and it took Kat awhile to even knew that these people existed – that they had made something that she could relate to today. Still, the color could catch people off-guard when they aren’t expecting it. Adena masks her surprise but not her delight as she follows Kat into the apartment, eyes catching paintings, sculptures, and pop art prints. She stays locked in on The Liberation of Aunt Jemima – a large photographed print of the project by Betye Saar. Kat follows her line of sight and grins, watches the way Adena finds her way to the art piece.

                  “Do you know the artist?” Kat inquires, walking up beside Adena, her hands finding her back pockets. They’re still in the living room, behind the couch, and there’s a reason Kat has this as a center piece in the room – why it’s the first thing she sees when she walks through the door.

                  “No, but it’s…” Adena carries off, shaking her head and searching for the right word.

                  “Empowering?” Kat suggests and shrugs when Adena glances over to her with a question in her eyes. “I’ve always felt that way when I look at it. The artist is Betye Saar – a black feminist who challenged racism in the 1950s and onwards. She likes to use derogatory imagery in her works, turn them on their heads and make them into something empowering.” Kat feels powerful when she looks at it and it reminds her of who she wants to be. “It’s a sculpture – 3D – and I first saw it when I was fifteen when I went on this field trip to MOMA. I stared at it for the longest time, trying to figure out what it all meant, and I never forgot it. I looked up the artist that night when I got back, and I’ve been a fan of hers since then; I bought this photo last year, framed it and keep it here to remind me.” She explains, tries not to notice how intently Adena is looking at her, how close her hand is to Kat’s own, how she’s not looked away since Kat began speaking.

                  “Remind you of what?” It’s a question but Kat has an inkling that Adena already knows. That she’s asking simply to hear Kat speak, to hear her explanations and to indulge in her words. It makes Kat warm inside, full and intrigued by Adena’s interest in her, by her intense gaze and the way she doesn’t back down from Kat’s stare, the way she searches for something in Kat’s eyes. It has always been this way with Adena – this push and pull. Kat wonders when they’ll ever be on the same page, if they’ll ever catch up to each other and walk at the same pace, be together.

                  “Who I want to be, the person I want to be. The kind who takes all of that negativity and puts it towards something that changes things. Proactive, strong, determined to get a message across and hoping that people understand.” It’s quiet and there’s a look in Adena’s eyes that makes Kat’s stomach swoop low. Adena is regarding her, trekking her eyes across her face and Kat can’t help but wonder if she’s always been this way; always looking to understand, to dig deeper and to connect with another person. Kat can’t say that she’s been this way with anyone else but her – wanting, needing to know more and never feeling satisfied or close enough to Adena. It’s crazy and it makes her head spin, makes her wonder if this is just because they’re teenagers (something her parents would say) and if this is all just hormones and sexual tension or if there’s something truly there.

                  Adena looks ready to say something, mouth opening and drawing a breath, but there’s a series of enthusiastic knocks on the door and the moment is broken. Kat goes to answer, to let their friends in, before she sucked back into Adena’s web once more.

 

                  It’s chill after that.

                  Jane brings Ryan even though she told everyone that there was no way they were hanging out this weekend. Sutton and Alex have been flirting for weeks now and Kat is waiting for that particular dam to break – thinks that they’d be good for each other. Adena and Kat are the only two who don’t have significant others at the get together but it doesn’t become a problem until they’re watching a horror movie and Kat notices the way Adena hugs herself. Everyone else is paired up – Jane is laying against Ryan, his arm around her shoulders, and Sutton has her feet in Alex’s lap, munching loudly on popcorn as the movie plays on. Adena is sitting on some pillows on the floor next to Kat, her knees into her chest and Kat’s noticed that she’s looked away quite a few times – especially in the gory parts. Horror movies have never bothered Kat but she wants to slap herself then because she didn’t stop to ask Adena if she was comfortable with them. It’s obvious that she isn’t and it makes Kat feel badly.

                  She wants to scoot closer and wrap Adena up into her arms, but it doesn’t feel right to do so. Still, she shifts and offers a kind smile to Adena, the light of the tv casting shadows across her face and settles back against the couch. It’s a signal that Adena can scoot closer if she wants to, lay her head upon Kat’s shoulder or just take comfort in her presence there while the horror is happening on the tv. Kat goes back to the movie and doesn’t think too much of her bold move to scoot closer, sure that Adena won’t think it more than a gesture of politeness, of friendship.

                  But halfway through the film Adena’s fingers touch hers, snapping her attention away from the screen and down to her hand. She’s not moved her gaze from the screen but she’s not watching the film. Instead, she’s focused on the way Adena’s hand rests over hers, how warm and soft her skin is, and her heart beats fast in her chest, her cheeks flushing, making her glad that there’s such low lighting in here. She’s trying to work up the courage to flip her hand over, to lace her fingers with Adena’s, but it goes slowly. Movements slow, unsure, she catches Adena’s pinky finger between her own and her ring finger, silently asking and then Adena’s fingers find their way between her own and then their full on holding hands. And it shouldn’t even matter because it’s so clear that Adena is unavailable – despite her situation with Coco at the present – and there’s no way she’s into Kat like that – this is probably just her asking for comfort from what’s on tv – but it does. It does matter. It matters so much because Kat has had a crush on Adena for years and she’s one of two people – the other being Daniella – whose ever made her blush.

                  It matters because Adena is the only one that Kat’s ever envisioned being in a relationship with.

 

                  They hold hands through the entire movie and into the next one. If anyone notices – Sutton or Jane – they don’t say anything. Halfway through the second film, Adena’s thumb begins to stroke the skin on Kat’s own. It is distracting, and Kat spends the rest of the film focuses on the groves of Adena’s finger, the soft and gentle way she caresses Kat’s own. And Kat has had plenty of sex in recent years, but this feels far more intense, far more intimate than any of that, and it makes her stomach turn with nerves. She wishes that Adena would comfort her, would tell her that this is just a friendly gesture, but she can’t find it within herself to get up or scoot away. They’re shoulder to shoulder, hands entwined between them, and Kat feels like her heart is going to burst at any minute.

                  When the movie is over, Kat finds and excuse to run to the bathroom. Her hands are sweaty by the time that she’s gotten back, and she mistakenly catches Adena’s eye as she sits down, her expression unreadable and unhelping. There’s a notification of a text on someone’s phone, Adena’s, and Kat was engaged in a conversation with the others but now she’s carefully watching Adena from the corner of her eye as she excuses herself from the interaction. The editor wonders whose stolen her attention, feels a stab of jealousy at the thought of Coco, but reminds herself that Adena is a private person and Kat isn’t anything but a friend to her.

                  They decide to forgo the games tonight, having all decided that they needed to get home to do some work before bed, and Adena is the first to leave. Kat shows her out, blushes and stutters when the girl leans in to kiss her cheek, thanking her for the night, and then she’s out the door as easily as she came in. Kat feels discombobulated and her head spins as she half-heartedly says goodbye to her other friends, hugging them all and telling them to text her when they arrived home safely. She can still feel Adena’s hand in her own, a phantom caress, and she shivers, decides that its best to forget it as she goes about cleaning things up.

                   It's half-past nine when she steps out of her apartment with her trash bag in hand. She’s got her key in one hand and the bag in the other as she walks down the sidewalk to the garbage bin. She doesn’t immediately notice the figure sitting on the curb, hunched over into themselves, until she’s on her way back from the garbage bin. She recognizes who it is right away and is quickly walking across the grass towards the street where Adena sits on the cold concrete.

                    “Adena? Are you alright?” Kat’s concern is obvious in her voice as she steps off the curb into the street, kneeling down in front of Adena to get a good look at her. Her breathing hitches at the sight of Adena’s tears, the way her eye makeup has trailed down her face. Kat has never seen Adena cry but it’s awful. Adena is this tower that touches the sky and to see that strength crumbling is more horrifying than the movie they were watching earlier. “Hey, hey,” Kat soothes, hands coming up to wipe Adena’s tears away, pulling them back to wipe Adena’s makeup onto her jeans as the woman sniffles and holds a hand over her nose self-consciously. Kat can tell that she’s trying to get her crying under control so she waits, despite the want to know immediately what’s wrong and how she can fix it, and rubs the girls back as she sits on the curb next to her.

                     “Coco,” but the word is cut off with a fresh wave of tears and Adena’s hand comes up to cover her face. If Kat didn’t already dislike Coco this would ruin her reputation with the editor. Because anyone who makes Adena El Amin cry like this, in defeat and hurt, shouldn’t be liked.        “It’s okay, Adena, it’s okay.” Kat soothes, wrapping her arm around the girl’s shoulders and pulling her into her body, none of the earlier hesitance present in her fluid movements. “Just take your time; breathe.” And it takes a while for Adena to stop crying, to catch her breath and feel confident that she won’t immediately start crying as she explains.

                     “Coco and I were supposed to meet tonight, she was going to pick me up, so we could talk, but she’s blowing me off.” Adena sounds angry when she says this, stares down at the street and scuffs her boot harshly upon the pavement. “She’s busy with her new girlfriend – the girl she cheated on me with.” And it’s so surprising that Kat doesn’t immediately respond, just stares at Adena in shock with slightly wide eyes because it doesn’t make sense. How could anyone cheat on Adena? Her lack of response goes unnoticed by Adena who continues talking despite Kat’s shock. “And now I have to call a cab to pick me up or walk to the subway station alone.”

                      “You can stay here.” It’s out of her mouth before she even realizes that its poised on her tongue. Kat can tell that Adena is surprised as she glances over to meet Kat’s eyes. Kat’s never seen her cry, but it doesn’t take away from how beautiful she is – it’s just sad now. A sad kind of beautiful that she wears with the gentleness of a candle flame rather than that roaring fire she usually is.

                      “If you’re sure…” And Kat is sure because she doesn’t want Adena leaving like this – so upset and alone. So, she invites the girl back into her apartment with a heavy feeling in her chest, realizing that she just invited Adena to spend the night. Her apartment is a one bedroom.


End file.
